Things I'd Like to Do This Year

This is why you always check back on things, and take care of unfinished business.

I'm a big fan of cleaning house. This takes a variety of shapes and forms for me. I literally like cleaning house, in the sense that I don't like clutter, I don't like things to be sitting around for too long, I don't like things that aren't in their proper place. These are always calls for me to take action, which is a good thing. If I've left something out or in a strange place, it's because I intend to do something with it very very soon (else it'll drive me nuts!).

Another way I clean house is by keeping an empty inbox, 0 drafts, and 0 incomplete posts in my blog dashboards. If it's still in draft, that means I intend to publish it eventually. Otherwise, I want to delete it and move on.

This particular post has been in draft since the beginning of the year, and for some reason, I just now discovered that it was still floating around. I reread it, and had an interesting feeling while thinking about the resolutions I had made, and progress (or lack thereof) on them so far.

THIS is why we write down our thoughts, and process them later on. Before I started reading this, I was a little scared that the person who wrote this over 7 months ago would be a different person than I. I strive to change and adapt, but also to be the same person at the core no matter what. I was pleased to see that I'm still the same person, with the same core goals and personal drive.

So here goes ...

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(Originally written on January 5th, 2010)

I'm starting a fresh year.

Start doing volunteer work again.

I used to be very good about volunteering at least once a week, usually doing a mixture of adult computer classes, music classes at housing projects, and cat shelter work. My move to London really screwed up my schedule and routine with these sort of things, and I just never got back around to it with the second half of my year being kinda crazy. Time to start giving some of that time and love back.

UPDATE: I haven't done this at all this year. There's still time, and I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm going to sign up for some NY Cares event today.

Continue to "train" friends at the gym, and maybe look into formalizing exercise and/or nutrition advice.

I've always enjoyed somewhat of a consultant role when it comes to friends' exercise routines and even diets. The amount of pride I hold with regards to knowing this subject area, especially as it applies to a healthy and happy lifestyle is quite large. While continuing to nurture the existing relationships and routines I already maintain, I'd like to start a blog, or offer my services, or do some freelance training work this year. Not even for pay, but just to get myself out there and see what it takes.

I could start a (oh GOD, don't say it dude!) blog on exercise and eating. Or join up with some sort of NYC meetup group. Or find ways to volunteer in this area as well. This is again about giving something back, and encouraging people to live healthier and happier lifestyles. Allow them to focus more on the other more important things that I don't know how to figure out!

UPDATE: Been doing a good job of this actually, at least in terms of training. We've thrown some ideas around for a blog/application for weight training, so maybe that will still happen.

Record an album.

Even if I have to buy it for all of my friends, The Birds of War need to release something. How else will I prove to my children that daddy was once cool? The internet probably won't even be around by the time they grow old enough to understand.

UPDATE: Basically did this! Except we changed our name, ha! My band Between Wars recording a 7-song demo, which led us to start playing gigs and get a new drummer. Hopefully we'll record something more polished towards the end of the year.

Visit at least 3 new states.

Vermont, Rhode Island, and Oregon top the list. I've rode on a train THROUGH Rhode Island, but haven't ever actually gotten out.

UPDATE: I'm close! New Hampshire and Maine have been visited so far, but I'm still down one state. Plenty of time and opportunity for this though, and a Vermont trip is definitely on the mind.

Take a class at a university.

Creative Writing would be excellent, more specifically something for short fiction. Horror-specific if possible.

UPDATE: WILL HAPPEN. I've looked a bit at some writing classes, and I just need to dig a bit deeper to see what I really want to spend the time on.

Start relearning French.

I used to be so good at it! I rekindled my interest with a trip in April to Paris, where I had to navigate an awkward situation involving several Americans and some non English-speaking French landlords over an inheritance question. I would love to be able to hold minimal conversations without having to think so hard about it.

UPDATE: I've tried to start chatting with a few people at work every now and again, and have been looking at taking a French class this fall. We'll see how this one turns out.

Go to a Knicks and Rangers game.

Not a hard thing to do, just need to pencil the dates in! Hard to believe that such an avid sports fan as myself can spend nearly 5 years in a city without once attending a live match of their flagship franchises. Giants/Jets/Mets/Yankees all taken care of.

UPDATE: Missed both again, the season went by so fast. I did however make plans with some friends to definitely do this next year, so it's on. I'm not too torn up about missing this goal.

Cook dinner IN more often than not.

Been spending way too much money on food that really isn't that good for you (and I don't actually know what's in it anyways) and could be saving money on booze by buying in. This one better be checked off pretty soon.

UPDATE: This one is a success one week, and a miserable failure the next. One of the problems is that I recently moved into a brand-new apartment in my favorite part of town, which means much easier access to my favorite restaurants. Also, the summertime is the worst time to try and stay in at night, so I'm hoping for a happy turn of events once the weather starts to cool off.

Not So Random Acts of Kindness

I am a firm believer in karma and positive energy. Positive energy begets more positive energy.

We all want to be nice people. We all want to call ourselves nice, warm, loving people, and honestly want others to think the same thing of us. Who doesn't? You'd be lying if you said you'd rather have someone refer to you as a jerk or an asshole. You just don't. It's not hubris or ego. This is a basic black and white, good vs evil sort of thing. There's nothing wrong with being nice, and we should all be nice, and would all like to be called nice.

Sometimes, we have to really make an effort to be nice. It's interesting how easy it is for us to sit and think "I wish I would be more nice to this person" or "I shouldn't have said that to that person" or "I should have done that for her when I saw her struggling with that" ... there are lots of scenarios like this that often go through my mind, and I assume yours as well.

There's never going to be a time when you'll always do the right/nice thing without having to force it. You'd never learn then from your mistakes, or would never be able to come up with the right balance. Sometimes, you have to sacrifice being nice to get the job done, or to actually do the "right" thing. That doesn't mean we can write those actions off though. We can either make amends with the person later, or simply recognize the fault and make up for (again) with more positive energy in the future.

Reading that back, some of it seems contradictory and hypocritical. There is no right answer to this kind of stuff, you just have to balance and continually revisit your actions and how you're living. I like that though. If everything had a definite answer, life would be no fun, we couldn't differentiate right from wrong, or real vs. imagined. It's all amazing to me.

That being said, I recently noted a few things I did which not only made the person I aided/helped happy, but internally gave me a warmth and externally a smile which helped me get on with or get through my day. Again, the mutual benefits from being nice are just priceless.

The Brand New Shirt (or the emperor's new clothes or something like that)

The other day I was walking to work, a guy who was obviously in a hurry (kinda shoving through the throng of people exiting the 14th street subway station) was wearing an obviously brand new dress shirt. Obvious in the sense that it looked new, and it still had a rather comically-large circular "LARGE" sticker the middle of the back.

I caught myself wondering for a moment where he was going and what he was doing. He had one of those leather binders you take to interviews filled with resumes, so I wondered if we has hurrying to an interview. Maybe he was late for a meeting? Maybe a client was waiting on him at a cafe?

I pulled myself out of daydreaming and tapped the guy on the shoulder. He quickly turned around, and looked slightly annoyed that something else was delaying him. I simply told him "Excuse me, but you have a sticker from the store on your shirt still." He stopped, turned his head, removed the sticker, and smiled. "Thanks a lot man."

He then continued on, but at a much slower and "normal" pace. I'd like to hope that moment snapped him out of whatever hyperactive fervor he was in, and hopefully whatever he set out to do that day, he did it well and successfully.

The "Insignificant" Tip


A few weeks ago, I went to the new Yankee stadium to see a baseball game. Well, that's a bit of a lie. I went to eat stadium food, enjoy friends, and imbibe copious amounts of expensive light beer, and preferred to have a baseball game be my soundtrack for the afternoon.

Going to baseball games always fascinates me. I constantly find myself wondering about the people there, where they come from, what they do, what's their home life like, etc. etc. A certain group of people I pay attention to are the vendors. It's a long hard job, and they have to put up with a lot of drunk slobs throughout the day, so I always try to go out of my way to be friendly with them, even if it's not returned.

I was at a Nathan's Famous stand, watching some of most awful people ever ordering their food. Barking orders at attendants, screaming for ketchup, telling people to hurry up and then blaming them when they miss an exciting play. Just frankly being assholes.

No one who is simply doing their job needs to be treated like that. I came up to the register when it was my turn, ordered two beers and two dogs, and gave the lady a 5 dollar tip. Her eyes lit up. It wasn't the fact that it was a 5 dollar tip (a dollar would have surprised her), I think it was just that moment that she realized someone there actually gave a damn about what she was doing, and she felt human again, and reprieve from the machine-like process of her day thus far.

She gave me the warmest "thank you" I can recall, and again changed a scowl to a smile. I continued to frequent her stand throughout the day, and we kept each other smiling throughout the rest of the madness.